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In this section, I'm going to give you some useless random trivia or a funny story to give you a chuckle for the day. Today is story day:
As you know, a big chunk of us here in the United States just went through Winter Storm Fern. (I like the name Fern, BTW ... just sayin'). Well, this is what happened to me and my husband - aka Chief Lowly (you will learn how Chief Lowly got his name in the March Newsletter! ;-) - the day before it hit us in our corner of the South.
Lord help us if we ever went through a world altering natural disaster.
I realized I was out of bird seed. So, Chief Lowly said we could take one more ride before the temps dropped into the you-are-taking-your-life-in-your-hands-if you-leave-your-driveway temps. That'd be 32 degrees or below if it has been raining down here. He said we'd motor across town to Tractor Supply to get my black sunflower seed. I love watching the Cardinals on my feeder. Especially in the snow. (And since we were suppose to get a bazillion inches of the white stuff, it was a necessity)
So, we are riding along, all quiet and everything and he finally says, "...you wouldn't mind running into Sam's Club and pick up a battery back-up I've been putting off buying, would you? If we lose power, that'll keep the tankless water heater running and we'll at least have hot water for while." I was looking out the window and couldn't help but grin. So, that is why he was quiet. Man-thinking. I was sitting there thinking about how many boxes of Twinkies I can buy and not look weird preparing for this Armageddon ice storm and he was thinking hot water. I have no complaints.
The rain starts about ten minutes later (across town for us is ACROSS town). It was still fifty degrees outside. And it is just RAIN! But, LAWDY, I swear the earth must have wobbled right then, because the world ended. You'd have thought the tornado sirens were blaring because people started scrambling like they were dodging falling rocks. The roads suddenly became mayhem. People cutting in and out. Running lights. I saw several near misses in a matter of minutes. I'm pretty sure that life-flashing-before-your-eyes thing started, too, except when he had to yank the truck through a hard right, swerving between a parked semi and an abandoned lawn service trailer, my heart stopped completely. I didn't get to see the end of that life-flashing film. Thinking that's a good thing.
I was relieved to find most people were calm in Tractor Supply. They were busy, but I think good ole' boys in general are pretty laid back. C.Low is one of those.
Two big bags of bird seed loaded, we drive another ten minutes and hit the Sam's Club parking lot. I hear C.Low murmur, "...changed my mind...", but I already had my door open, ready to drop and roll if he didn't come to a complete stop. I knew I had this. I told him to park WAY OUT there and watch for me. I'd be right back.
I easily found the battery back-up because no one was on that side of the super store and walked up to the only self-serve line that wasn't backed up ten carts deep. I approach as someone was turning around, shaking their head, saying something I did not want to hear. I saunter up to the young man who apparently had never used a self-serve check-out before, and saw the blinking screen asking "Debit or Credit"? I was about to just reach out and answer that question for the kid, but a customer service guy happened to be walking by, reached out and tapped the screen while still moving, never looking back. Me and the kid instantly looked down as the machine thanked him and spit out his receipt. He released the breath he was holding, shoved the box of Slim Jims against his chest and raced to the door. I scanned my ONE item, tapped the debit/credit question and almost beat the kid through the door because I could feel the poison darts hitting my back from all the people who had turned around thinking that check-out machine was honked up or something.
I step outside just in time to spot Chief Lowly executing a fifteen-point turn trying to avoid the growing panic. Folks cutting each other off, and vying for any parking spot since that parking lot was filled all the way to the highway. It was truly a scene out of a movie.
He managed to turn just as I started to walk toward him, still having to dodge a SUV, a minivan, and a rolling shopping cart. He paused just long enough for me to slide into my seat and then hit the gas before my door was fully shut. I looked over at him - his eyes were bugged out and his face was red.😡
"I'd have taken a cold shower everyday and twice on Sunday had I known we could have died just leaving our neighborhood today." C.Low growled. "Lord help us if the Big Man decides to come back in my life time. I'm not worried about salvation. I now fear retail parking lots."
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